In Memory

*************TOTAL DOWNER WARNING****************

On August 15, 2006 The tri-state area banded together to try to find a missing boy Marcus Fiesel. His Mother had taken him to a nearby park. She had health problems and she passed out. When she came to she realized that her foster son was missing. For Days the police, fire department and citzens looked for him. About a week after the incident was reported the Foster parents Liz and David Carroll along with his live in girlfriend moved out of their home. On or about August 25th detectives started to wonder if the boy was even alive anymore. There were many things just not right. Like the timeline for instance. The Foster Mother said that he was visited by a social worker on August 10th. The case worker disputed this story saying that the last time she had seen Marcus was the week before (Aug. 3rd) When she arrived at the house on August 10th she was turned away by the foster parents as they told her Marcus was upstairs and too sick for visitors.
Long Story Short the Foster parents have been indicted for his murder. The live in gf went to the police and admitted that they had a family reunion in the begining of August and Marcus (I am guessing here) would have been too much to take care of. He was autistic. They taped his little arms behind his back and wrapped him in a blanket and stuffed him in a small closet. When they came home 2 days later he was dead.
I am physically sick over this. I don't understand how anyone could do something so disgusting to a little boy.
Once Seth and I went out for about an hour or so and when we got home, I heard meowing. I went upstairs to find that our cat Jack had been stuck in one of our closets. It made me cry, thinking about him wondering what was going on. Point being you don't even treat animals like this little guy was treated. I am sick over thinking of him being hot, being hungry, having to go to the bathroom, being scared. I want to go back and time and rescue him. I would love him, I would take care of him. I want him to know what real love is, and I have to believe that now that he is in Heaven he does. But it does make me wonder Why the hell this happened. If "there is a reason for everything" (which I am often told) what the fuck is the reason for this???? Why are there people out there like Seth and I that want Desperately to have children and can't, when there are those that can and for some reason, don't want to take care of them. He had been taken from his mother b/c of signs of neglect. He had walked out of a 2 story window. In his short life he never knew what it was like to be taken care of. It truly truly makes my stomach turn. I grieve for the love he didn't have, for the life that he didn't have b/c of these sick fuckers.
As I have written before, I find it extremely therapeutic to listen to music for all different feelings that I have. I have listened and cried to this as I remember Marcus...

That young boy without a name
Anywhere I'd know his face
In this city the kid's my favorite
I've seen him
I see him every day
Seen him run outside
Looking for a place to hide
From his father
The kid half naked
And said to myself
"O, what's the matter here?"

I'm tired of the excuses
Everbody uses
He's their kid
I stay out of it
But who gave you the right
To do this?

We live on Morgan Street
Just ten feet between
And his mother
I never see her
But her screams and cussing
I hear them every day
Threats like
"If you don't mind
I will beat on your behind"
"Slap you, slap you silly"
Made me say
"O, what's the matter here?"

I'm tired of the excuses
Everybody uses
He's your kid
Do as you see fit
But get this through
That I don't approve
Of what you did
To you own flesh and blood

I'm tired of the excuses
Everybody uses
He's your kid
Do as you see fit
But get this through
That I don't approve
Of what you did
To you own flesh and blood

"If you don't sit
In your chair straight
I'll take this belt
From around my waist
And don't you think
That I won't use it!"
Answer me and take your time
What could be the awful crime
He could do at such young an age?
If I'm the only witness
To your madness
Offer me some words to balance
Out what I see and what I hear
All these cold and rude
Things that you do
I suppose you do
Because he belongs to you
And instead of love
And the feel of warmth
You've given him these cuts
And sores won't heal
With time or age
I want to say
"What's the Matter here?"
But I don't dare say
"What's the Matter here?"
But I don't dare say

-10,000 Maniacs