When I sit and listen to words to a song, I can almost always apply it to my life somehow. I have always been a lover of all things music. I played the clarinet in a band in Junior High, and started taking piano lessons at age 10-16 or 17. Sometimes I will hear a song (like The Verve - Bittersweet Symphony) and be completely moved to tears. That happens a lot to me. For some reason when listening to music it will stir up all kinds of emotions. Whether it is happy, sad, angry, jealousy...I welcome each feeling that a certain song conjures up. It is almost like I get some sort of release from just listening...And Lord help us if I am in a car alone....I will sing at the complete TOP of my lungs if the mood is right...I love those times! I have been told many times that I have a pretty voice.....I guess it is OK, but I seriously don't care, even if I am off key and having a bad singing day I will still sing!
Since my diagnosis of Cancer in March of 1998 when I was 21 almost 22 these feelings (whatever they may be) are so much stronger than they ever have been in my life. I love hearing a song that reminds me of a certain time/place/person in my life. I love listening to Cds that I have taken road trips with and remembering that time driving along and jamming.
There was a song Carly and I were listening to tonight on her iPod. We each had one of the ear buds in one of our ears and we love to look up the lyrics and sing-a-long. 10,000 Maniacs (the original) Trouble Me came on. I remember hearing it a long time ago maybe during highschool but really listening to the words when Seth and I started dating. He had the Unplugged CD. When the song came on, I turned to him and said, I would love it if someone would say this to me. That I could feel OK w/ sharing any trouble on my mind no matter what and not worry about the person being weighed down by that. The actual feeling of being able to "trouble" someone w/ whatever..whenever. Tonight while singing and listening to it with Carly I realized...It was like a lightbulb went off...I can offer this to her. I turned to her and explained the song in words she would be able to "get". We both had tears in our eyes while singing along to the rest of the song. I love that I have given her a gift that I have always had...to be able to remember the time when she was 10 laying in my bed looking at the iBook listening to the Shuffle singing to each other. To remember she can Trouble me with whatever and it wouldn't be any trouble at all...that she doesn't have to carry the weight of ANY problem EVER on her shoulders alone, because I want to always be there to help her through.
"Trouble me, disturb me with all your cares and you worries.
Trouble me on the days when you feel spent.
Why let your shoulders bend underneath this burden when my back
is sturdy and strong?
Trouble me." -10,000 Maniacs
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5 comments:
Maggie,
You can always trouble me. Always.
I wish I had been a part of that, but considering that there were only two ear buds, I am glad that you got to share it with Carly.
I am like you, and certain songs conjure up specific memories, feelings, etc. I hope to have more of these times with you guys.
WHat a wonderful post Maggie. I REALLY enjoyed it.
I will teachyou how to make a header very soon....we are in the process of packing up our home..but I will send you an e-mail soon. It's easy if someone helps you the first time.
Thanks guys...you are sweet.
Mommy, I Love that you wrote a bloge about me !!!! I feel special!!!!!!!! (did i spell that wright?)
Mags, you TOTALLY just made me cry.
And now when I hear that song, I will think of you, too.
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