Top Ten Ways to Disrupt the Waiting Room

So As most of you know I am a cancer Survivor. I truly believe that if I was unable to laugh through it, I wouldn't have come this far. I only wish I had seen this list back when I was going to the office 7 days/week

1. Ask everyone around you to do things "stat".
2. Offer free prostate exams.
3. Ask everyone nervously whether they have a "spare catheter".
4. Pop a tape in the VCR of you in an avocado-eating contest.
5. Supplement bland waiting room periodicals with nurse-fetish pornography.
6. Give your best rendition of that dance-floor classic: The Naked Raptor.
7. Hold up sign that reads, "Free chemo in the parking lot".
8. Initiate spelling bee. Be unflinchingly cruel with errors.
9. Leaf through every magazine in the room, shake hands with everyone else and then say loudly, "Jesus, this flesh-eating scabies itches like a mother".

10. Repeatedly refer to the doctor you're waiting to see as "The Trembling Butcher".