Hey all...I love you guys so much and thank you for all your kind thoughts and prayers and such. I have to have stupid surgery on Thursday April 6th. I am still in super pain. Not Super like oh its' great...but duh, like i need to explain that.
I will be in the hospital overnight and stay 1-2 days. I am so scared. But everyone says it will be all better when I wake up besides the pain from the surgery.
I am a little upset and will use this place to vent...
Everyone keeps saying you will feel so much better..the surgery is an everyday thing people get it all the time. I just can't shake the thoughts of Haven't I been through enough? Why ME? I am so depressed over it at times. I just don't get what I am supposed to be taking away from this experience? What is it I am supposed to learn. They say everything happens for a reason and I am so freaking tired of not knowing the reason of why everything has happened the way it has. It really pisses me off. I am tired of everyone saying it is going to be OK...and that I am Lucky they are doing the surgery right away. I just don't see it that way sometimes. I want for once to hear someone say they are sorry...not b/c they are sorry, but that they sympathize w/ me having to go through something else. Maybe I don't hear it from my everyday conversations b/c they are trying to keep me happy/up, but sometimes I don't want that. I want to be allowed to be sad....allowed to be angry and allowed to be scared. I don't want a thousand reasons that this is a great thing. I am just tired.
Anyway, My mom sent me this link
Click on Animations
Then on the next page Spine Procedures
You have to enter in your zipcode, but since I don't know if it is just anyone's zip or what eveter in 41016...choose the 1st DR on the list (it isn't mine, but it is the same procedure)
Then Click on Spine, after that Cervical
Then Click Anterior Cervical Discectomy Fusion Instrumented
It is pretty cool. It walks you through an animation of the procedure that I am having.
So anyway keep the get well vibes coming. I can't tell you how much it means to me that you all care.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Good post Mags, a blog is the perfect place to express how you feel and release a little grief when you hit the publish button.
I am sorry though. You sure are having a hard time lately. Don't let it break your spirit.
Thanks Anessa. I am trying...I know I will be OK...I am just worn out physically and mentally.
Post a Comment